warm words

I have this job that is full of...
drudgery.
It is boring work...
that's what it's boiled down to.

I am cornered as they are laying people off.
and I'm sure at this point
that I'm on a list somewhere.

I have to take a break from what i'm doing...
because it's hard to concentrate on this crap for a full 8 hours.

And when I'm off work...
I spread my wings and fly

and take pictures
and make videos
and play with photo imaging software
and design blog themes
and help people out online...
and write...
and dream...
and be me.

the j.o.b. doesn't have the essence of me

sacrifice is such a silly thing
I do
when I'm so seriously in love.
sometimes, though,
I find myself in love all by myself...

the guy isn't interested in the least.

I don't think of myself;
I think of him;
I worry about his health;
I worry that he's okay.
I worry he needs new underwear
or should have a home cooked meal
or that he has a fever...
and needs me to take care of him.
I dream of him...
and what it felt like to have him there
what he smelled like
what he felt like when I put my arms around him...
what his arms felt like
what his skin felt like
what his face felt like
what his lips felt like
ooohhh I should stop that.

what I felt like when I first laid eyes on him...
my heart lept out of my chest and I thought it was going to explode.

Yes, I still yearn for him...
Yes, even lust for him.

And what does he do?
Ignores me...

I should really obsess over somebody who gives a shit.
that would be a good new start

in a stream of consciousness
I wonder what it's like in Egypt now that they've killed the pigs.
I wonder what it was like before they killed the pigs;
I gather there was not as much garbage as there is now...
and that the reason
they killed
the pigs
is because of the swine flu scare.
Now...
they have an even bigger problem...

And no swine flu epidemic.

I wonder what it was like in Cuba
when Castro ran on a platform of "change"
and proceeded to do to Cuba
what Obama is doing here in the US.
What did the Cubans do in response, I wonder?
I know some of them escaped.
And came...
to America.

But for us...
there is nowhere to turn.

America is
"it".

That really bothers me.

America is the last hope for the world...
the bastion of freedom
that people of depended on for over a hundred years.

The last bastion of freedom
is being choked to death
by clueless elitists
who've never had a real job.

Some days I wonder
how a rich elitist like Barack Obama
can let his brother starve in a shack
on a few dollars a year
and do nothing...
while claiming he believes in
redistribution of wealth.

It's really redistribution of MY wealth...
he wants to keep his own money in his pocket...
and spread my money
to the criminal tax dodgers in Congress
and their special interests,
and unions.

All of this makes it hard to sleep at night...
while the hammer is hanging over my head...
and I'm waiting for it to drop.

The usual people worked all night, which isn't always the case. But the reason was that India celebrates Ramadan and they were off for Ramadan. It was a national holiday, India was off celebrating Ramadan...so the few people that are left in the US had to put their schedules aside and work.

It struck me as odd; I've been seeing a lot more women with headscarves around, but now I have another perspective.

America is shipping work to India and the muslims and laying off Americans. Because India's labor is cheaper. And of course, they are benefiting from the riches of the capitalist country that can afford to pay them more than they have made in the past.

But how long can that last while Obama is destroying capitalism and recreating it according to the Dreams of Billy Ayers and his Kenyan Socialist Economist Father?

from out of the blue,
he called.
He'd made certain
I couldn't respond...
his callback number was nonexistent
and he said in a message
"you don't love me anymore...
but I still love you..."
and then he was gone.
Emails were of no avail;
and it was the only way I could reach him...
And it was a strange way
to say
good-bye
It came from
out of the blue

I knew he wanted me
his interest in my every need
was keen and clear
his compassion deep
his touch gentle
yet...
questioning.
Did I want him, too?
He seemed to ask
With every longing gaze
he looked
into my eyes...
I could feel the query
his tender softness
washes over me
as he sweetly whispers
thoughtfulness
that grabs and turns my heart
circumstances leave me irritated
yet this is none of his doing.
These are merely temporary;
situations;
yet I am tormented
by them
Still...
he waits
with loving arms
and a warmth
and tenderness
I've never known-
a strength
a hesitation
as though
he asks my permission
and places my need
above his own
He never forces his will on me
and for this and so many other things he does...
I love him so.
In the end...
it is worth it
because he always leaves me
breathless